Faces, faces and more faces…….
A day of new beginnings…. always the toughest part of creating is getting started. I have some projects at home and some at my studio and am hoping I can work out the challenges of working in two places with the right supplies at the right spot!
I like being at my studio because home can be kind of isolating. But creating is such a solitary activity that one needs to be alone to a certain extend. So the push and pull continues.
I thought I would do the larger canvas pictured above as a ‘warm up’ to getting back to my commissions so patiently waiting on me. Instead I fear I won’t be able to pull myself away from it. I already missed my son’s basketball game last night because I thought… just one more little adjustment! I don’t have it right yet and it is bothering me!! One little adjustment went on for I don’t know how long! So now guilt piles up on top of a painting I started and can’t walk away from and others I need to begin! I am drawn in by the colors and really want to get into the painting of it but I NEED to stop myself until I get the features right… I think I got pulled in more times that I can count! Push and pull again! I feel like I’ve been thru the wringer!
I find colors almost intoxicating … wrong word… maybe invigorating. Addicting. Thats the word. Compelling. I have an acrylic underpainting on the big portrait with oils on top. I love revealing just parts of the underpainting thru the oils. Whatever it is it draws me in and grabs a hold of me and won’t let go. Try explaining that to a 13 year old! Big Push and Pull with guilt stomped in !! (He had dad and siblings watching him so he had a cheering section but still I shold of been there.) The graphite is fun but in a low keyed kind of way. I’ll do that with the rest of the family while they are watching tv. Its gives me something to do since I am not a big tv or movie person. Little push and pull that I have to always be doing art in some form or fashion. Why can’t I just veg out like other people???
Okay so back to my studio today and we’ll see what wins out– the practical side saying ‘get those commissions done!!” or the color addict. Push, Pull. The color addict will get another fix with the next painting but wants to suck every last drop from this big canvas first! Push, Pull. Maybe I’ll give it another day unless I scrap the whole project and move on. Push, Pull. How’s that for planning?? I’ll know when I walk into my studio, see this again with fresh eyes and while I am setting up my paints again I’ll make a decision.
They say art is not for the faint hearted. Its a battle! 🙂 A battle you willing engage in and aggravate and exasperate! But you know, there’s not much in this world that feels so right for me to be. If not an artist, then what?? I shudder to think of it. I’m too old and chicken to be a champion show jumper or jockey! (My career choices in middle school!).